Self loathing is a seductive pastime. It feels like justice, dealt out from my own hands, to punish the one I know is useless and unworthy and rotten and wrong. It feels like power and it feels righteous. If only we garnered some sense of achievement in how fucked we can make ourselves feel.
Today I decided that this is the behavior of an oppressor. And I am no oppressor. I am a lover. Today I decided that what’s really powerful is standing up to oppressors even when they are strong and when they are loud. Especially then.
Today I decided I will no longer be on the side of the oppressor. I decided that I know that oppressors never win. I decided that I know that love wins. Always.