I asked him how he did it

He asked me why I wanted to know

Told me he wanted to remember him another way

not the final way

not like that

it didn’t matter, didn’t change anything

he was right

I am sorry to this day, that I asked

I am sorry that I didn’t do more

tell him we needed to rally ‘round him

tell him we couldn’t take him at his word

he wasn’t ok

he wasn’t ok

he wasn’t ok

but it’s too late

and now we have regret

and we have sadness

and we have an empty place

where a Father should be