Bluff.

I think I called your bluff. Your bluff that said you’d have me back in an instant, in your bed, if only I were there, if only I said yes. Despite your girlfriend.

I think I called your bluff. The promise you’d hinted at for years, that wasn’t ever acted upon because you knew I had principles that meant I’d never put you – or her – in that position. The promise that wasn’t real because you’d never have to choose between right and wrong, because you knew I’d do it for you, so you didn’t have to.

I think I called your bluff. My principles don’t extend to being responsible for your behaviour – anymore. I’m responsible for mine and you need to own yours.

I wonder now, if that was what you found attractive in me in the first place. If that was why we’ve said I miss you and I love you and I want you regularly over the past years. Because fantasies don’t ask you to take responsibility.

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